Words of survival.
Films of strength.
Lifting of shame.
We never know what is going on in anyone else's head…
Background
Arts and literature charity Living Words is most known for working with people affected by late stage dementias. We use a way of working we call Listen Out Loud to create personal books, as well as taking peoples’ words out to large audiences through song, performance and publication. In 2019, we started evolving this person centred arts practice, to amplify other seldom heard voices. The Living Warriors project was commissioned as part of an innovation funding initiative by NHS authorities in Kent and Medway, to explore why people had not taken their own lives, when they had thought that they would. Held in March in Folkestone Library, we came together to explore the moments in which we had chosen not to end our lives, as well as what kept us here and keeps us going (something on which the UK has little data). We worked in small groups and one-to-one to co-create individual Living Words books with all those who took part. Following its success, and the whole project winning The National Positive Practice in Mental Health Awards, Living Words was awarded further funding to make these films. The group wanted to share our words of survival with more people, to bring hope to others in desperate times. This gave us the idea of creating short ‘message’ films, to be shown in cinemas before main features, to offer support.
The Warriors’ words are shared with the world through these films, a book and a song.
Keep scrolling to find out more.
The Films
December 2019 - March 2020, we made our Living Warrior films. 7 Living Warriors from Kent had their words about surviving nearly taking their own lives, made into short films. The co-creative process saw us having a group writing/creation session, followed by individual workshops to shape and hone the films. We looked at 1) What we wanted to say - taking the words directly from our Living Warriors books; and 2) How we wanted to say it - exploring places of meaning and visual metaphor. All the films are different from each other, but linked through the opening and closing beach scenes to make it clear that there are many survivors - in every town, village and city.
We would love our message to be heard nationally & internationally. You can help us by watching & sharing them - especially with those who you think might need to see and hear them, right now. We would also love to be in contact with cinema distributors, broadcasters and festivals.
Huge thanks to our fantastic team, crew, location support and post-production. See the full credit list HERE.
“I want my words and experience to help others – things do get better, you can survive” - Vic
“I am 47 and this is the first time I have felt truly heard. It is important to talk and not be scared how people will react. It’s not that you want to die, it’s that it is too much pain to live” - TJ
“This was the best project I have ever been involved in. I thought I had dealt with the past, this project helped me release the final shame I still felt. Amazing.” - Sally Ann
“I follow Living Words and had wondered if their unique Listen Out Loud methodology would work with other people who we need to hear from.” “I am delighted that the success of Living Warriors has helped some Kent people who came near to dying by suicide and the people close to them on their healing journey. I support this approach being used more widely across the country in the future.” - Lauretta Kavanagh, the lead for mental health at Kent and Medway STP
The Song
Image by Living Warrior, Ethan Sheppard
‘Look Up’ was released on 26th May 2019. It was created as part of our Living Warriors project in Folkestone, and features the words of all our Living Warriors. Check out the full version of this wonderful, authentic piece with music and vocals by Anil Sebastian, produced by Ingmar Kamalagharan & Anil, and mastered by Cherif Hashizume. Download from iTunes here or stream it via Spotify, above.
The Book
This 4-minute video describes our first Living Warriors project and how it came about.
You can buy copies of our Living Warriors anthology by contacting info@livingwords.org.uk
“ I have endeavoured to live a life of love and kindness towards others.
I think it’s only love and kindness
which fills the inner gap.
People try to fill the inner gap with other things,
but those things don’t work long-term.
Yeah, that’s my philosophy. ”
Andrew Welcome - Living Warriors Anthology
Wow, straight away – Burden
“Always comes in my head when I think of suicide
always that big word ‘burden’.
Always straight in my head – ‘burden’
Not just a burden to people, but a burden to life in
general
Like, if you can get out of the world you’re not going to
be painful for anyone else
Cos you always know that you are hurting people, and it’s the last thing you’re gonna do – hurt people.
Always such a taboo subject as well
you know as soon as you see the word ‘suicide’
people start panicking or run for the hills or think ‘don’t
mention the word dying or anything’
You just think ‘No’”
TJ Frost - Living Warriors Anthology
Look Up
“I will never be the same again
But he wouldn’t want me to take my life
Not be smiling
He is also keeping me going
Because he’d want me to keep going
That’s why I’ve got this tattoo for him:
‘Dont look down mummy’
Don’t look down at his grave – look up and around,
Look to other things that can cause joy
And look to other things that can keep me going”
India Gibson - Living Warriors Anthology
It’s bonkers isn’t it?
I drove my car into a wall.
Slammed my car into a wall.
Well, that’s not really gonna work is it?
I wouldn’t say I got less mad.
Categorically, what stopped me was my sense of
humour.
The ability to laugh at what you’re planning and think ,
“This is ridiculous”.
I thought, “I’m gonna hang myself from the loft ladder.”
But then,
“Oh god what about the dog? The dog’s gonna have to
eat me.
And what if the postman finds me? That’s not going to be very nice for the postman.”
“How could I make it so he won’t smell me?”
And I thought, “Well I could clip those little Magic Trees
all over me. Maybe that would stop the smell?”
That’s what I mean about the humour.”
Sally Ann Cranage - Living Warriors Anthology
2.
“On bad days when I cut myself I would use my own blood,
and start drawing and painting and things. A bit gross.
At the time it felt great – like a real expression of my internal struggle.
Cos for me, personally growing up a witness – you don’t share blood, it’s very personal. Part of you and your ‘soul’, your make up.
So using that as an art-form to make a picture was :
“This is mine. This is literally my ‘soul’, right now. And it
felt like shit.”
Ethan Sheppard - Living Warriors Anthology
Space of time
“I didn’t fully expect to defeat them twice,
Those feelings and experiences, I’m proud of that.
It’s an achievement -
To have these adversities
To come out towards the other end
There’s loads -
Too much to say
In this short space of time”
Sam - Living Warriors Anthology
I think sometimes suicide is glamourized in films. And songs.
“Songs that have the subject of suicide, they almost
make it sound romantic.
That someone will find you.
That eventually someone’s going to save you.
There’s a poignant video by Britney Spears, called
Always.
She’s in the bath, trying to kill herself, and a man runs in and finds her.
But it isn’t a happy ending.”
Kat - Living Warriors Anthology
Longing for the sea
“She becomes human.
All selkies leave their skins,
They come off,
To become human,
Then, they put their skins back on -
and become seals
Someone has stolen her coat:
She has to walk in the world,
but it’s really painful
I had this personal mythology -
(I don’t think I have it anymore)
I am the selkie.
I can’t bear the world,
but I can’t find my coat -
Someone has stolen it.
A friend brought clothes her mother had thrown out.
There was this long black cardigan:
It was hideous.
I wore it to keep warm in the basement flat
One day another friend
Who knew my selkie secret
Saw me in it and said,
“You found your coat!”
Lubna Gem Arielle - Living Warriors Anthology
We need a new language
“I think it is really important to note that when
somebody tries to end their life, inquests say:
‘Somebody successfully ended their life’.
What is successful about ending your life?
It conjures up the image of St Peter at the gate,
with ‘you came first’ bags.
Obviously I’m going to get a badge when I get there at
some point, that says
‘you failed to end your life’.
I think the language that’s used around suicide is quite damaging:
Someone successfully ends their life.
Someone failed to take their life. Someone attempted and failed to take their life. These narratives are very at odds with reality I feel.
I think a lot of the language around it needs to be changed.
Someone contemplates taking their own life and gets really close to it, and they get patched up and packed off.
That doesn’t work. Because that doesn’t change stuff.
I think what it clearly shows is,
that person is struggling.
And the things they don’t need are: judgment, being labeled…
They don’t need to be told they’re bad;
They don’t need to be burdened with family
or religious guilt.
What they do need is to be able to talk freely. About
what they felt
Why they felt it,
What made them feel it.
And each individual is different,
each experience is different.
One size will not fit all.
So there needs to be a clear way people then work
together,
and also how the person can be helped to receive this.
How they can feel that they’re worthy of it too.
That’s a big part.”
Elizabeth - Living Words Anthology